MyWestworld

Lost in Translation

Posted on 27. Mar, 2008 by Kerry Banks in Travel Blog

We have all seen them at some point during our global travels. I’m referring to the street sign, advertisement, instruction or safety warning rendered in badly mangled English. There are thousands of these fractured phrases on public display. People collect them, stick them in photo albums and post them on the Internet. Here are some of the funniest examples that I‘ve been able to find using various online sources.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Japanese zoo:
Children found straying will be taken to the lion house.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Beijing barber shop:
Haircuts half-price today. Only one per customer.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours — we guarantee no miscarriages.

On an Italian hotel brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today — no ice cream.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

At a Bangkok dry cleaner:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

On a Hong Kong restaurant window:
Come broil yourself at your own table.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

In a Vienna hotel:
In the case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

In a Roman laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

On a brochure of a Tokyo car rental agency:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

In an Athens hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

On a Polish tourist brochure:
As for the tripes serve you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praise to your children as you lie on your death bed.