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Five Top Things Not To Do When Visiting Vancouver

Posted on 08. Feb, 2010 by Jim Sutherland in Living

OLYMPICS UPDATE/COMMENTARY

Alright folks – anything to add?

by Jim Sutherland

A protocol guide just issued by the City of Vancouver has people from all over mocking my town. Well, let’s just see how brightly our 2010 Winter Olympics shine compared to those of other cities, where residents didn’t know to match their trousers and socks.

In any case, the one thing the city’s 141-page guide fails to do is offer guidance to visitors. Surely they’ll be as anxious to fit in as we are to appear litter trained. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of the Top-5 Vancouver Don’ts.

1. Don’t call it “Van” – or “Vancity”

‘Vancity” is a local credit union. “Van” is the groovy west coast city your parents were trying to hitch to until that guy in the pickup asked them if they were looking for a job and they ended up spending the summer in Medicine Hat. Nowadays we call it Vancouver.

2. Don’t assume anyone will know what you mean when you order a “double double”

Tim Hortons arrived in Vancouver only a few years ago. Which means Starbucks and its dark-roast brethern dominate the local caffeine trade and dozens of Asian variations rule the market for cheap lunches, so the eastern-based chain remains a curiosity frequented mainly by Canadians from away. Locals are not immune to the allure of coffee that’s sweet and creamy, but they take it in the form of cappucino and a couple dozen other fancy-pants variations with names precisely callibrated to annoy traditionalists and curmudgeons.

3. Don’t venture off-piste

This warning is especially crucial for Europeans, who tend to think of out-of-bounds as an exhilarating shortcut to their favourite bistro in the charming village one valley over. But there’s only untamed wilderness north of Vancouver’s three north shore ski mountains, and fenced off slopes often end in steep box canyons, where rescue teams will eventually find you, but not necessarily before you succumb to the elements.

4. Don’t forget to order a meal with that beer

Actually, you will be able to have a drink on its own during the Games, though for a while things looked grim for anyone so rash. The problem lay with the province’s ancient liquor licensing laws, which mostly restricted bars to downtown hotels, leaving restaurants to serve the same purpose — and the drinks — pretty much everywhere else. Then in 1999 a provincially mandated requirement to order food with alcohol was finally rescinded. But last October, Vancouver city council almost enacted a new bylaw that would have required at least 50 per cent of restaurant revenue to come from food. Only an industry outcry prevented an Olympics that would have made Salt Lake City’s seem like a lost weekend.

5. Don’t be bothered by a little rain — but fear, fear, fear the snow

Inversely to the rest of Canada, Vancouver doesn’t stop — or even slow down — for rain, but it skids to a long, greasy halt when flakes fall from the sky. The causes are sixfold (at least): ultra-wet snow; temperatures around the freezing mark; hilly streets; a dearth of snow ploughs; a lack of snow tires; drivers in a state of panic and perplexment. If there’s a consolation here, it’s that by February the worst of the winter monsoons are usually over. In theory.

Tags: 2010 Winter Olympic Games & Paralympics, 5 top things not to do when visiting vancouver, Vancouver liquor laws